Sry I called you an 8
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
false alarm, still single
Randomize
