I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
