It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
