I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
