Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
