My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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