Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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