i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
