Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
