I cannot find my penis.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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