You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
