Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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