i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
