But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
