First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
