YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize