is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
