Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
