if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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