Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
