I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
