just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
