we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
