His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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