I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
