at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
