In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
