Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
