Having a random hookup so left but love u
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
