She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
