Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
