Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
