Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Randomize
