The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
