Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
