The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
