I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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