people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize