I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
