I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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