So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
