idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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