So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
babies were throwing up all over the place
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
