babies were throwing up all over the place
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
