I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
