I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
