i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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