Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
