remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
