Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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