i just had sex bonerless
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
