He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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