so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
