I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
