chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
