you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
