Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
