I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
