I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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