Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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