i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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