She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
please don't ironically join a cult
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