Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize